One Year! - Becky

Yesterday (Saturday, September 29) we celebrated the one year anniversary of our move to Nicaragua. We had a big party at our house for all of the mission staff and their families. Despite me having had to do more of the preparations myself with Tommy's foot putting him mostly out of commission (a story for another time), I felt that things went really well. I am SO appreciative of all of the help I received from different people to make the party a big success. I especially want to thank the other members of my team for their help with transportation and with the food. Most of all, I have to give props to Chris for doing the chicken and "perfecting" the chili.  (And thank you, Shiela Holland, for the chili powder!)

This past year has been crazy, mostly in a good way. Sure, we have dealt with a lot of stress over various things, but in the end WE REALLY LOVE IT HERE. We love the people and we feel good about what we're trying to do here. Thanks again (we can never say this enough) to everyone who contributes to us both financially and spiritually/emotionally. We really couldn't be here without you. I have to say that we can really tell when people are praying for us over here; it makes a major difference. Thank You, LORD, for the first of even more wonderful years (we hope) here in Nicaragua!

-Becky

Going to and Returning to Home (Tommy)

Becky and I recently had the opportunity to take a three weeks vacation back home to the United States.  Charleston, SC is our home; it's where we were born, raised and where we left from when we came to live here in Nicaragua.  Home is so many things really; people, places, sights, sounds, smells, feelings, memories, etc.

We had a really good time experiencing all those things again after being away in a foreign culture for 10 months.  I particularly enjoyed eating at some of our favorite restaurants,  some more than twice.  For me it was a chance to recharge and be refreshed in a lot of ways.  I don't think that I realized how tired and burned out I was from ten months of culture shock, language acquisition, work and being stared at all the time.  Only once I was able to ease back into the comforts of my home culture did I come to understand the extent of my malaise.

The thing that stuck out to me the most about being back in the United States is that everything is really nice and clean and orderly.  There isn't a ton of trash in the streets, drunk men passed out in puddles of mud along the side of the road nor hundreds of near dead parasitic dogs wandering the streets looking for the next meal that will only go to feed the worms crawling through their skeletal bodies.  Now don't get me wrong, Nicaragua is a truly beautiful country in many ways but it doesn't rival the States as far as things just being in a state of "niceness" if you will.

Being home was great and it only took a couple of days for the weirdness of things to wear off and for me to feel like I was "home" again.  However, after the first week or two I really started to miss being in Nicaragua.  I missed our friends and our church and the work that we so strongly believe in.  Although little thoughts about how nice it would be to just return to the States and live there again did cross my mind now and then I can honestly say that the draw to return to the land of lakes and volcanoes outweighed the longing for the comfort and ease of the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Looking out the window of the plane as we made our approach into Managua at night I started to feel a little worried, it all seemed so foreign to me all over again.  I had felt so "at home" in the States again and I wasn't sure if I would so easily be able to slide back into my Nicaraguan ways.  I was pleasantly surprised/relieved once we landed and sat our bags down in the hotel in Managua at how very normal it all seemed to me.  The next day as we drove through Managua to do a little shopping before heading back to Jinotega I felt totally at ease, in fact I felt "at home".  I experienced that same feeling of comfort, familiarity and ease that I had felt while being in Charleston.

I think now I not only know in my head but in my heart also that I have two homes and two worlds within which I live.  I love both of them dearly, neither one is perfect or better than the other, they're just different, and spending long periods of time in either one in no way diminishes my ability to be "at home" in the other.

There and Back Again (Becky)

Wow.

A lot has happened since the last time I blogged; hopefully I can explain it all okay.  To recap the last few posts, Tommy and I waited for something like 8 months before we were FINALLY able to move into our rental house.  The very next day, we were on our way to Managua to pick up his mom and nephew who were here for a week.  We had a really great time with them, but we were still exhausted from having painted our walls, dealt with a myriad of contractors, and quickly moved all of our belongings into our house.  With no couch or dining room furniture, we were all just sitting in plastic chairs, but it was just good to see our family.  As soon as we had them back to the airport, we turned right back around to pick up our friend Bri who was here for 3 weeks (see my last post).  She was very helpful, and while she was here we were able to start getting back into "work" mode after having had so much of our time and focus on our house.  We took her back to the airport at the beginning of August, and then it was just the two of us alone... in our own home... for the first time since March of 2011 (when we moved out of our house in Summerville into Tommy's sister's house where we prepared for our move to Nicaragua).

At the same time, we were wrapping up "group season" at the mission (a very intense time where groups from the States help with all sorts of projects at the mission, including some of our Hope for Life projects).  Things were going to slow down and get "back to normal".  With our Spanish teacher no longer having to act as a group translator, we were going to get started again with our Spanish lessons.  We were going to get ourselves organized so we could be more purposefully productive.  We were going to get some actual furniture for our house so it could be a place for us to recharge as well as to spend some time with our Nicaraguan friends.  (I never realized how important to mental health a couch could be.)  We were finally going to get really "plugged in" (for the second time, in some cases, after focusing so much on our house) to stuff going on in Jinotega.  Basically, all of the things that we had been waiting to do until we had our house and were in a normal state of operation at the mission were going to happen.

But, then there was a murder.  I wish I were joking here, but sadly I'm not.  A family member of some of the mission workers from our congregation (a Nicaraguan) was brutally killed in a drug-related incident.  The guy had actually worked for the mission temporarily as a translator this summer, and we all knew and liked him.  As if that weren't bad enough by itself, the murderer was a North American citizen (actually, he is ethnically German, but he is seen here as an American).  Once word of the murder started getting out and rumors started forming, there started some be some anti-North American feelings in the air.  Just to be clear, mostly everything was fine; no one was purposely going to seek to harm us.  But, Benny was concerned that we could be at the wrong place at the wrong time while someone was upset in the moment.  After much discussion and prayer, the decision was made for all of the North Americans at the mission to go home to the States for a while, just to be "out of sight, out of mind" until the murder was no longer big news.  So, we quickly got ourselves packed and prepared for some unexpected down time after a crazy summer.

Going from "let's get ourselves really 'plugged in' to Jinotega, Nicaragua" mode to being, suddenly, in Charleston, South Carolina, USA was a big shock.  We weren't planning to be back until Christmas (to have been in Nicaragua for at least a whole year), but even so we had been gone more than 10 months.  We found ourselves looking with different eyes at what had previously been our "home" for pretty much all of our lives.  Everything was so nice and clean and organized.  It was amazing to see houses constructed with drywall where the walls actually went all the way up to the ceiling with no gaps.  Driving on the Interstate was so fast and smooth.  Certain stores and houses were huge.  Food from restaurants tasted so good.  (The best sandwich I've ever had in my life was from a little stand at the airport in Miami.)  I was blown away by the convenience of having everything all right there at the grocery store and even (for clothes) Old Navy.  It was all pretty overwhelming.

It was also (obviously) a really big deal to get to see our family and friends.  Both sets of parents and most of our extended family all live in the Charleston area, along with a good many friends and the church family that I have spent my whole life with until moving to Nicaragua.  Needless to say, there were a lot of people to see.  We didn't at all advertise that we were "home," so there is still a large group of people we would have liked to have seen but for which we just didn't have the time.  (We'll get the rest of you next time.)  The coolest thing was getting to surprise Tommy's sister Ann and her family when we randomly showed up at their house.  We were there just in time (within the week) to get to "send off" our nephew to college.  I got to see my grandmother whom I feared might be gone by Christmas.  (BTW, it sounds like maybe a new medicine is doing her some good.)  We got to see some good friends (if briefly) that we had really, really missed since we moved.  I absolutely hate that someone else's friend and family member had to die to make the trip possible, but it was so good to reconnect with our loved ones.

Overall, the trip was amazing.  However, it also made us realize, first of all, how much we needed a break and, second, how much Jinotega has become our home.  For me, as good as it was to be with my people in the States, it was sad to be away from my Jinotega "family."  There are people here that we see literally every single day, and suddenly not to see them for a period of weeks was painful.  I can honestly say that for me I was even more excited to return to Nicaragua than I was seeing the States again.  Once we got to Managua, Tommy and I were literally jumping up and down like little kids in our hotel room because we were so excited to be back.  When we were actually back in Jinotega and got to see everyone again, it really felt like we were "home".  After being in the States where people are so separate from each other, the sense of "community" here was palpable.  The night of our return was crowned by us sitting outside in our plastic chairs, surrounded by the neighborhood kids who were excitedly showing us their English workbook from school.  It is so great to know that we really love these people, and they (at least those we deal with personally) really love us.

Now that we're back, we're sort of on a "getting things organized" high.  We feel recharged and excited about the various things on our plate.  There are still some things we're struggling with (fundraising, learning Spanish, etc.), but we are motivated to do what we need to do.  We covet your prayers as we are still trying to get "settled" in our house (and—hey, I'll just say it—we covet your money as we still need furniture...and Tommy's laptop was stolen while we were away).  Anyway, we feel super positive right now and just so thankful for where God has brought us.  We are so overwhelmed with love from everyone we got to see on our trip and those we are back together with now.  I want to say, too, that I was personally very humbled by the number of people in the States who mentioned that they have been keeping up with this blog and our Facebook updates.  Well, I guess that's it.  We love you all so much.

-Becky

Thanks, Bri!

Wednesday we saw our friend Brianna Close (Bri) back on a plane to the States. Bri stayed with us for three weeks while she helped with various projects (whatever needed to be done at the time) and spent time with the youth group here. Mainly she helped Tommy to begin mapping the town of Yankee where our team has a goat house and where we are developing a "showcase" center of all aspects of our sustainable living program. She also helped in the construction of a concrete floor of a school, as well as with a much needed pipe on an indoor stove at Reynaldo's house (see pictures below). (Reynaldo is the preacher in Yankee, and our showcase center and goat house are on his property.) In addition to all of this, she helped Becky with a lot of things for the Casa Materna.  We really enjoyed Bri's visit (as did the Nicaraguans) and were very grateful to have her help while she was here.

Bri and Tommy carrying water to mix with concrete

Tommy mixing concrete

Bri mixing concrete

Becky leveling the concrete floor

Reynaldo's kitchen before the stovepipe
(notice all the ash on the ceiling and walls)

Reynaldo's kitchen before the stovepipe

Chris, Bri, and David making the stovepipe

Reynaldo's wife sealing the bottom of the stovepipe

The stove after the pipe

Reynaldo's kitchen after the stovepipe

Yay!

So...

We are FINALLY in our house. :)

There is still a little bit of painting to be done, and we still need to purchase most of our furniture and many household items. But, we have electricity and a functioning bathroom now. These things were completed just in the nick of time before we brought home Tommy's mom and nephew (Jacob). We enjoyed spending all last week with them, mostly doing "tourist-y" stuff and just being together. They were the first family members we have seen in person since we moved here last September. A single week was really too short a time to soak up their company and to give them a thorough picture of what all we do here. (We were also very excited to see some of our friends from our home congregation in Summerville who were here doing work with the mission!) However, between their visit, us having had to work on the house, and us having been sick before that, we have really been out of the loop on what has been going on at the mission and at church. I feel like I have barely seen my Nicaraguan friends. We expect things to get back to "normal" soon, though. After I put up this post, Tommy and I will be leaving for Managua again to pick up Brianna, our friend from camp, who will be sort of our Hope for Life intern for 3 weeks. We are excited about the projects we have in mind for her to help with. It will be good to jump back into "work" again and, hopefully, to reconnect with our local friends and co-workers.

Anyway, we are VERY, VERY THANKFUL to be in our house at long last. (Thanks so much to everyone who lifted up prayers for us.) It was amazing and faith-building to watch everything come together by our deadline. It was obvious to me that God's hand was in the entire process, and it was gratifying to see our trust and patience pay off. I would definitely say that the house is worth the wait.

One thing we don't have at the house yet, though, is an Internet connection, so we are only able to communicate through e-mail and telephone (our Magic Jack phone) when we are at our office at the mission. Sorry if it takes us a little longer to respond to your messages. Hopefully we'll be connected at the house soon.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support,
-Becky

Update - Becky

Hey, guys. I just wanted to give a quick update about what has been going on with us lately. We have not had as much opportunity to be at our computers to keep in touch with everyone, so I'm sorry if we haven't been as timely in responding to messages (and sorry if this post is pretty scattered). Tommy and I have been very busy dealing with our house. We were having to go around and light some fires under various contractors, and now we are in the middle of painting, which is a pretty significant undertaking. Meanwhile we have both been sick. Both of us were dealing with stomach issues (Tommy especially), and I (Becky) had a cold. Thankfully we are pretty much better now, though. This week we are missing "camp" for the first time in many years. (We always staff at Palmetto Bible Camp during "Superweek", but, obviously, we're not there this year.) It's very strange not to be there. Hopefully we can go next year. We just got back from an overnight trip to Managua to pick up a videographer who Tommy will be working with over the next week. They will be going around getting footage for a documentary about Texas Tech's work in Nicaragua with the mission. (I plan to keep painting at the house while Tommy is occupied.) Right now, there are A LOT of people at the mission. We currently have the Olive Branch medical mission team along with students from Texas Tech (also five interns). This whole summer the mission has one group after another coming, so I think it will be August before we don't have anyone here. Because of being busy with the house and being sick, Tommy and I have been mostly out of the loop on what the groups have been doing. However, David and Chris have been taking individuals from the groups up to a town called Yankee where our team is developing a sustainable living "showcase" to display each of our different projects. So far things have been progressing well with that. Tommy has been up there some documenting the work as he has been able. At the moment our house is our priority, though (well, aside from Tommy helping with the documentary right now). Our goal is to be in there and have things ready for Tommy's mom and our nephew who are set to come at the end of the month. (We can still really use prayers towards this end!) If we can just get that done, we should be able to shift our focus to other good things we have really been wanting to do. Anyway, this is our world right now. It kinda feels like we're in a bubble or a vacuum. It is satisfying to see our house coming together, but we'll be very, very glad when we're out of this stage.

Blessings,
-Becky

P.S. - I would like to request specific prayers that not only will we be able to get in our house soon but that our house will be a blessing to many others. We have been blessed by a whole handful of people who have kept us from being homeless over the past year or so (our sister Erica Brown, Benny & Donna Baker, David & Caryn Henniger). It is very important to me that we are able able to "pay it forward" with our house. Even if we don't have people actually staying with us, my goal is to have it filled most of the time with people (our Nicaraguan friends & church members as well as various North Americans who happen to be here). I want to be able to be very generous with food and different things on a regular basis, but I'm concerned that this will be financially difficult for us right now. In my mind it seems to me that, for us to give the way I want to give, God will have to show up and provide. (He has so far in our lives, though, so I'm just trusting that He will continue in this manner.) :)

Spanish, the Metric System, and Logic vs. Feelings - Becky

You know what? I like Spanish. There is still a lot that I need to learn, but I feel pretty good about what I do know so far. I still find myself saying "huh?" a lot and getting stuck because of holes in my vocabulary. However, I am able to have meaningful conversation with my Spanish-speaking friends, and I really only use a translator for things that are "official" and "important." Lately it has been coming so much more naturally to me, even to the point of me having to stop myself from speaking Spanish with people who speak only English. When I learn new things about Spanish now, it is easier for my brain to figure out what to do with them. (¡Gracias a Dios! y muchas, muchas gracias a mi buena amiga Tania, quien es mi maestra de español.)

The thing is, Spanish makes sense. Sure, there are many things about it that are confusing because I am not used to them, but overall Spanish is pretty consistent. The vowel sounds are always the same. Consonant sounds are (pretty much) always the same. There are pretty straightforward rules (más o menos) about which syllable of a given word gets the emphasis. Once you know all of these rules, it is not too difficult to read something in Spanish and be able to pronounce it correctly. Compared to English (which is crazy and incredibly inconsistent), Spanish is fairly simple. In fact, I would even say that it is a pretty logical system of language.

Why, then, does it take so much work to learn it? Also, why doesn't everyone in the States learn it? (Just to be clear, I'm not saying that everyone should learn it necessarily; I'm trying to prove a different point, so stick with me here.) After all, it is the language of one of our neighboring countries. I've decided that it's like the metric system. It's logical and may even be better in some ways than what we're currently using, but most of us aren't willing to stop using "feet" and "degrees Fahrenheit" because they are what we know. It doesn't matter that "meters" divide so nicely by tens and hundreds and that "degrees Celsius" line up with the freezing and boiling points of water; we just want to keep doing what makes us comfortable.

The point I'm trying to make is that, as much as we may like to think that our decisions are guided by logic and reason, we are sentimental beings. We get so attached to our current norms that we tend to reject other ways of doing things, even if the new ways make more sense. We do make changes in our lives, but not because of logic (most of the time). We change because we have a sentimental reason to do so. I never would have bothered even to try to learn Spanish if it weren't that I have already given my heart to people who speak it. I'm still resisting the metric system... and I don't even have a good excuse.

This reality makes me wonder what other good things I may be stupidly avoiding—or stupidly holding on to. What personal habits are detrimental to my health but I continue to practice anyway? Are there any people with whom I could be really good friends but who I just feel uncomfortable about approaching? Do I have any "pet" spiritual ideas that make me feel good but don't actually jive with reality? If I answered all of these questions honestly, I could come up with a pretty long list of changes to make in myself. But, as a typical human being, unfortunately, for me to bother to start the process of change, I need more than just rational arguments to do so. Something must appeal to my heart and not just to my head.

But, I think that God set things up that way. This is not to excuse bad behavior at all (because we know that we need to do the "right thing" regardless of our personal feelings at the moment). However, God made us all emotional creatures, and it would behoove us to take note of that. God never said that logic is always good and emotion is always bad. In fact, many things about God Himself are quite illogical. It is definitely not logical to send a son who loves and obeys you perfectly to die for people who constantly reject you. It's even less logical to have created the world in the first place, knowing that you would have to make this sacrifice.

I think I would be worried, though, if everything about God were logical. I mean, would I really want to worship someone who was small and "neat" enough to fit inside my limited, faulty brain? Yes, there are some things about God that do seem logical to me. If the rule is that sacrifice must be made for sin, it makes sense that the death of a perfect person could be enough sacrifice for the whole world. But, I don't believe in Jesus because it makes logical sense to me; I believe because my faith is personal to me. As a missionary, of course I want others to come to put their faith in Christ, but I know not to expect much from making logical arguments. There has to be some kind of personal connection. I would even venture to guess that most people who are decidedly not Christians are turned off from Christianity more because of negative personal experiences than simply finding Christianity illogical. Like I said, God isn't quite logical, and I don't think we should go around trying to make Him so. Just like I only started learning Spanish for personal reasons, most people will only believe in God for personal reasons.

This is not to say that logic has no place in spiritual matters. We should use logic with emotion for the best results. It's jut that most of the time we aren't using logic like we may think that we are, and we need to recognize how important feelings are in ourselves and in others. Logic can present us with ideas, but it is our feelings that cause us to do something about those ideas... And I think that's okay.

What do you think? These are certainly just my opinions, and I would love to hear some other perspectives.

-Becky